Tonight as I was doing the dishes, I was confronted by a difficult thought, “Do I love my grandma?” I know this question might seem as a total shock to most of you who read this blog, but please bear with me.

I am defining love from John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” The question I must ask myself is “Do I love my grandma enough to lay down my life for her?” Am I affectionate toward her? Yes. Do I respect her? Yes. Is she more than just simply the mother of my mother? Yes. Do I have a child’s natural love toward a grandparent? Yes. But do I, as a man, choose to love her? Would I lay down my life for her?

By the way, this passage in John is Jesus talking to His disciples. Not only does He define love, but He also later sets the bar by the giving of His own life, not only for His friends, but also for the entire world. His payment for the sins of the world on the cross was the once-for-all atonement for the sins of the world. He loved each and every person who has ever lived and who ever will live enough that He chose to die for them and pay the penalty for their sins.

Using that standard, the example of Jesus and His words to the very people He was about to die for, I must ask myself “Do I love my grandma?” It occurs to me that to answer this question it would be useful to compare my affection for my grandma to the affection that I have for others around me.

My Savior:
Without doubt He tops the list. He died for me and paid for my sins. He loved me when I hated Him, and yet He still called me to Himself. I can never, ever show the complete depth of my love for Him. One day in heaven I will get to praise Him forever, and it will still not be enough! To quote a song, ‘My Jesus I love thee, I know thou art mine!’

Immediate family:
My wife, my children, our parents, one grandmother (dad’s mother), siblings, and nephews, these I would give my life for at a moments notice with no hesitation or misgiving. These people I have chosen to love and have great affection for.

Close friends:
I am fortunate to have gotten to know several men very well and they are men that hold me accountable for my spiritual walk. These men, and their families, I would not hesitate to give my life for. These are men whom I love dearly.

Several older women at church:
Through my time at Salem Heights, my wife and I have gotten to know several older women who are such awesome examples of godly women. One of these is a woman that I consider to be as close as family to me. She is a spunky older woman who was our marriage counselor, and a woman who so special that I think of her as another grandmother. In my heart of hearts I can honestly say that I have more love and affection for this woman that for one of my grandmothers by blood. I love these older women and would gladly give my life for them.

Others:
The children that I get to teach at Awana, my pastors, etc. These, and many others, are people that I love and cherish and would gladly give my life for.

By looking at the list above you and I may certainly see that I have a large number of people that I love, and by the definition of Jesus, would give my life for. So now we come to my grandmother. My mother’s mother…. Even as I write this my emotions war within me, and yet this decision does not come down to emotion. As I have always been taught, and as Jesus Himself taught, love is a decision. Do I care for my grandmother? Yes. Do I particularly like her or what she has put my mother through? Not at all! Is that even hard and painful to write? Most definitely. Do I love her? It would be too easy to just say ‘yes’ without a second thought, just because of how I was raised. Do I love her? To say ‘no’ would seem so cold, and it would break my heart to say. Do I love her?